To begin again...
What kind of adult do you hope to nurture your child towards becoming? Thoughtful? Responsible? Attentive? Caring? Interdependent? Playful? Someone who likes themselves?
Now I ask you...can technology get you there?
This is a story I told in my column 'Positively Speaking' found at www.vashonloop.com, but for your benefit I'll tell it again in abbreviated form.
A three and a half year old slipped off my lap during a story so he could go to the bathroom. He was worried he would miss something. He raised his hand and pushed an imaginary button on the opposing palm saying, 'pause'. When he returned he hit the same button declaring 'play'.
As you know we have become such a digital culture that kids under three know about youtube, double clicks and searches. As you also know this same technology is basically bad for kids under three. It affects their brain development by overstimulating their eyes in bad ways. It diverts them from being present in their own lives. It creates the quasi relationship where face to face is booked. Tactile is limited to keystrokes. Curiosity becomes only visual.
And then they turn three. And the decisions about what place technology is going to play in your child's life begin to be rewritten by the world's influence. While you're deciding, here's some starter limits.
The rule to follow is, NEVER LEAVE THEM ALONE WITH AN ELECTRONIC DEVICE. That will follow to good things in so many ways all the way through adolescence.
"Read" a movie the way you read a book. Save the complete run throughs for the deliciousness of old fashioned communal big screen experiences that you can introduce them to at a Saturday matinee. This same three year old I mentioned in the beginning was so mesmerized when I took him to Toy Story 3, his first big show, he stood the entire movie. He could not believe such a magical experience existed.
If they want to play with your phone, keep them near. Emphasize the relational aspects of technology.
Use speakerphone a lot so they're included. Type the email to grandparents together. Keep things age appropriate. Set the boundaries where techno culture wants to rush them ahead.
Remember that under three all the research says it's bad for their brains. Use technology during those first three years for YOU. Keep yourself tethered to other adults. Google it as you always do but without the baby on your lap.
When the boundaries begin to slip wide as they age, truly make it the information age rather than life as a need to be entertained. Remember encyclopedias and dictionaries? Think of it like that.
As always setting family traditions of what's healthy, what's not early on lays a great foundation you can reference with each passing age and stage.
So tell me... what kind of relationship do you and your household have with technology?
Love
Deborah
