Just a note of encouragement to all of you who are doing battle with the bedtime routine.......remember to keep it simple and direct, expect kickback but honor your own maturity in being able to repeat after me:
"I hear that this is not something you want to do, but the day is over and now is the time to let your body fall asleep. I love you."
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Put the Suitcase Down!!
Considering we spend our twenties, and into our thirties a bit, separating from our parents emotionally and historically it's no wonder most of us bring to parenting the thought of separating our parenting from the way we were parented.
If you have children later, say late thirties or into your forties, you also bring all the workplace circumstances you've experienced and the thought, "I don't want my child(ren) to end up like THAT person.
They are good thoughts. But most parents over correct. They end up doing a 180 degree change instead of a 90 degree change. If you do a 180 you end up with the same thing you are trying to avoid. Think carefully and develop a good solid assessment and strategy for what you are trying to enact.
Assess:
What is the behavior? How did it develop from your parent's history? How was it transferred to your life? How did you react? Why do you want the results or the behavior to be extincted?
Enact:
What will give you the desired behavior? What are the small steps that will lead to the big steps? How is your child(ren) going to react? What will your response be if you can't effect change?
Whether it's habits or values, traditions or routines personalizing your parenting for the heritage you want to pass on to your child(ren) is important.
Review:
Taking a look again at those changes as you mature as a parent, as your child grows older and as your relationship with your story and heritage evolve is important.
Love,
Deborah
If you have children later, say late thirties or into your forties, you also bring all the workplace circumstances you've experienced and the thought, "I don't want my child(ren) to end up like THAT person.
They are good thoughts. But most parents over correct. They end up doing a 180 degree change instead of a 90 degree change. If you do a 180 you end up with the same thing you are trying to avoid. Think carefully and develop a good solid assessment and strategy for what you are trying to enact.
Assess:
What is the behavior? How did it develop from your parent's history? How was it transferred to your life? How did you react? Why do you want the results or the behavior to be extincted?
Enact:
What will give you the desired behavior? What are the small steps that will lead to the big steps? How is your child(ren) going to react? What will your response be if you can't effect change?
Whether it's habits or values, traditions or routines personalizing your parenting for the heritage you want to pass on to your child(ren) is important.
Review:
Taking a look again at those changes as you mature as a parent, as your child grows older and as your relationship with your story and heritage evolve is important.
Love,
Deborah
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