Undeterred Self Care

There are those times when, as a parent with babes, toddlers, children or youth of any age, you just feel like throwing in the towel.

Maybe there have been too many high demand days in a row, maybe you are in the middle of a stage of development (either yours personally or your child's) that you don't understand. It could be it's just one of those times when the responsibilities are pressing in, or perhaps your child is kicking it into high gear taking their stress out  on you.

Whatever the reason, it's important to find ways to keep the exterior as smooth and unflustered as you can summon and a way to vent or off load or move beyond whatever interior stresses you are feeling.

Making a go to list of positive, non self destructive activities and another list of people resources for getting help with the kids is an essential tool to making it through the long haul.

Take fifteen minutes when you are unruffled and imagine what would help. For me, it was always reading magazines at the library or swimming early in the morning before the kids were up, or Friday morning breakfast after the kids were in school,at this restaurant that had super slow service. If you are working full time outside the home, it might take an evening.

This kind of resourcefulness is difficult to pull off on the spur of the moment. Plan ahead. Then, you don't need to try to think of what will help when you are already stressed out.

You being able to make it through is the key to your child's well being. It's part of taking care of you first. They use the 'put the mask on yourself first' illustration a lot in parenting education, but making a plan to do it is the first step.

Keep it light. Keep it fun. Going to therapy or classes is a good idea for enrichment and self improvement, but self care is nurturing in different ways that distract you from the stresses or encourage parts of you that haven't been encouraged. Go to a movie. Put the kids to bed early and read for an evening. Hire a babysitter and go down to the basement and crank up some dance music. Do what pleases and brings a smile to your face. As a very wise person once told me, when you do your self care, make sure it isn't something that adds to your problems.
Love,
Deborah