Just a tidbit today;something to make things easier I hope. After you have given your child an instruction, take five minutes to let them deal with it. Think of it. How many times has someone asked or told you to do something and you stall... just a little... just until you can own the idea as your own. That's what your child is doing.
Give your child a few minutes to own the thought as his or her own. It will keep you out of the power struggle. It will help you reframe the question as something they can consider. Yes, there are times when it will be necessary to say 'because I said so' and certainly we want to help our children be responsive to directions without having to question absolutely everything. But before you go for the push, help them learn to trust you and build a relationship as they receive your directions.
Example...( after the requisite five and three minute warnings). "It's time to put ( whatever) away. --beat,beat,beat-- 'Can you think of a way that you can tell yourself it's time to stop?''
Better cue.
Try it....
Love,
Deborah
About Me
- The Social Contemplative
- What does it mean to be a social contemplative? A person who has spent a lot of time reflecting on a very busy life with diverse experiences that have , in spite of herself, yielded a lot of wisdom she wishes to pass on to others. Deborah loves people but recharges her batteries alone. Sitting in the presence of her own life is mandatory. Reflection and centering happen in the midst of the whirl of a populated world. Born on the East Coast, living all her adult life on the West Coast she is a hybrid of cultures. She is a mom, a writer, and a teacher who sings, reads and swims for fun. And yes she is ordained, but don’t hold that against her. She believes we are more than conquerors and most days there’s a smile on her face because she deals with life in real time. She’s a whole lot funnier than this description makes her sound. Lastly, it’s important to know she’s a paper and pencil gal in a digital world.
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