Experiencing Thanksgiving while I was living in Europe was truly unique. It was no holiday in which banks or government offices or schools were closed. We simply gathered together as Americans to eat what we could find of traditional Thanksgiving foods. And the children with me heard the familiar tradition of going around the table and listing those things for which we are thankful.
Teaching a child to say thank you is a wonderful experience. Whatever gaps there may be in my children's experiences as adults, they do know they have reason to be thankful. And with each child I've come across I have passed on the wonderful experience of giving thanks.
This weekend, no matter where you are in the world, sit and make a list of all the things you are grateful for about your children. You will see them in a new light, and the burden and confusion of caring for them will seem less.
Happy Thanksgivin
Love,
Deborah
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
One Step Ahead
If it's Tuesday I must be thinking about what's involved with raising children.
And so I am. Today I was considering all my wee, tween, and teens in my care both special needs and typical.
Listening to the words I speak to their parents I recognized that one of the hallmarks of those conversations is the admonishment to keep an eye on where the next stage of development for your child or teen will be.
It isn't that we are wishing away our off springs' days. It is that we are building in today what they will need tomorrow. They can't see next and so rely on us to help them make good choices about what to keep and what to discard in their behaviors and attitudes ...without squelching or killing their spirits and their personalities, hopes and dreams whether tested or tried or left wanting. Now THAT's a balancing act.
How do we encourage them to grow strong and secure in themselves prepared for what lies ahead without locking them into fear of the unknown? We do it by example and that wonderful paradox of the now and the not yet. It is where the righteousness of good solid development as human beings that will contribute newness and goodness to the future world is rooted.
It is also the hardest part of child rearing. Never more so do we have to unhook the buttons where we have been prewired or set down the baggage from our past to which we cling.
You can do it! You can keep abreast of all this, and still keep them company. Care for yourself but do not absent yourself from them emotionally because this balance is too weighty or tenuous or precarious along side the living of our own lives.
Keep trying. Hold it all in tension. You will notice your children are aware of your gift and appreciate the company and thrill of leaning into the unknown while you hold their hearts for them in sacred trust of all that they will become.
Love,
Deborah
And so I am. Today I was considering all my wee, tween, and teens in my care both special needs and typical.
Listening to the words I speak to their parents I recognized that one of the hallmarks of those conversations is the admonishment to keep an eye on where the next stage of development for your child or teen will be.
It isn't that we are wishing away our off springs' days. It is that we are building in today what they will need tomorrow. They can't see next and so rely on us to help them make good choices about what to keep and what to discard in their behaviors and attitudes ...without squelching or killing their spirits and their personalities, hopes and dreams whether tested or tried or left wanting. Now THAT's a balancing act.
How do we encourage them to grow strong and secure in themselves prepared for what lies ahead without locking them into fear of the unknown? We do it by example and that wonderful paradox of the now and the not yet. It is where the righteousness of good solid development as human beings that will contribute newness and goodness to the future world is rooted.
It is also the hardest part of child rearing. Never more so do we have to unhook the buttons where we have been prewired or set down the baggage from our past to which we cling.
You can do it! You can keep abreast of all this, and still keep them company. Care for yourself but do not absent yourself from them emotionally because this balance is too weighty or tenuous or precarious along side the living of our own lives.
Keep trying. Hold it all in tension. You will notice your children are aware of your gift and appreciate the company and thrill of leaning into the unknown while you hold their hearts for them in sacred trust of all that they will become.
Love,
Deborah
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