A noun and a Verb

It's that glitch in the stomach as you feel your child, from birth to eighteen, suddenly assert themselves in ways that seem beyond your negotiating power. That's the slip that usually thrusts parenting techniques into full throttle. Instead, take a breath when that moment comes. Count to three for yourself, and simplify your impulse to a noun and verb. As the toddler dashes for the door beyond the speed you can muster, the preteen drifts away in their own activity, the teenager ramps up the attack of how awful a parent you are, simplify your language to a noun and a verb.

Coat on. Look in my eyes. I'm listening. Their emotions are dashing away from them. Their brains are engaged elsewhere. Their desire exceeds their ability to bring everything to fruition. Take the high road, the engaged road , with a simple sentence. Noun and verb.

Not only does it have a greater chance of hitting a spot of engagement and turning the situation around, it reminds you you're the adult. It also offers them the opportunity to approach you, because it simplifies the path to turn to you.

Repeat the sentence. Find two similar simple words if the first two don't lock on. When the final moment of engagement comes, and dialogue and the healthy unity towards a common goal begins, there's less clean up. Less foam in your lap from ice cream that was put in too fast in too great a quantity.

Kids feel safe around wise parents. When they feel safe, they slow down and engage. Wise people always speak very little. They have distilled the essence of truth to a noun and a verb.

Try it. Let me know what happens.
Love
Deborah