RELAX!!!

Somehow I didn't think I'd be my age and still wandering around with my choice of four car seats ( depending on the age of the child with me) and getting teenagers off to school, and making sure there was always a packet of wipes nearby for hands and fingers, cheeks and chins.

So be it. I love working for/ with parents, and caring for children. It's just a passion.

Of course it's different now. These are not my own little ones or teenagers by any connection than my heart.

When they were mine, all four of them, they were my heart, my soul, my dream for them to be all they could be and enjoy that journey. And I never left them. When they were asleep it was regroup or rethink time, or put away whatever was the biggest pile , or try to stem high tide on the floor of the paraphernalia and accouterments from Fisher -Price or school. And when they were with me, there was always something else that wasn't being attended to or perhaps two things being attended to at the same time. They were into each other's business and I was sorting it out, or they weren't paying attention and I was trying to draw them in.

I had this fantasy I was going to raise them and then they would all return to the nest like the Walton's did around their big picnic table. The one thing I hadn't factored in was how much they would like their own nests.
I'm so happy for that. I raised them to be independent.

And so, I find myself wishing I had done one thing more with them. I wish I had relaxed with them more. Truly.
I wish I had just taken days upon days of their youth to just watch them play and sit with them and have conversations that went nowhere and meant nothing in the scope of world peace.

Now before I get too hard on myself I have to say our circumstances and my responsibilities were exceptional. Two of my children came into our family as very very wounded older adoptive kids. That shook up my oldest birth child and then of course there was the surprise pregnancy of my youngest ( who is actually number three in the order of things).

Much of my time was spent comforting children who were inconsolable and interpreting that to two children who were pretty secure in their bond with me.

And now that they are grown I'm truly able to spend that time with them. But ... nonetheless, I would pass this on to you.  That old poster or plaque that used to say, 'cleaning and dusting can wait for tomorrow..."?
It's a truth.  So can running around and coordinating and volunteering on committees so your child has an enriched experience.

You know what enriches your child's life? Your eyes watching them. Your heart engaged with them. Your ears listening to them.

Relax...it's sometimes the best gift you can give your child. Try it today and see if it works. Just relax.
Love
Deborah