Peaceful Parenting

My thought for you this evening as the sun sets behind the mountains, is of peace. Inner peace.

Do you remember a time before the hecticness  of children when you had perhaps five minutes of total peace

I'm tired tonight and a lengthy post is not in the cards, but I want to remind you that one of the most important things you can do is model inner peace for your child. Make sure you create, and they catch you, having a few seconds 'off duty'. Let them see your personhood peeking through. In less than a decade they will be pretty much their own person, whether they are still in your womb, a preschooler or a teen.

Show them what it looks like to be a person by letting them see you have a moment of inner peace.
Have a nice night's rest is what we say in our house.
Love,
Deborah

Seeing the Best

This morning I had the chance to watch a father loping along for a morning walk, bundle of tussled hair strapped to his back, face buried into Daddy's shoulder, obviously asleep by the way his body's limply  bouncing limbs mimicked Dad's gait and stride.

I remember the peace of feeling my children on my back as I walked to wherever when they were young. All my authority as a parent grew stronger within me knowing they were up and out of harm's way and we were moving forward.

It is, however, the face to face moments that prove challenging as parents. Looking into their eyes and or having them look into mine created opportunities for growth and joy,or power struggles and melt downs. Interactions are the rudders of relationship boats.

Here's what I suggest . When you look into your child's eyes, remember from whence they have come. Call to mind their ability to be in a different place, to learn, to grow. See their gifts and talents. See their hopes and desires. See their trust and love. Imagine who they will be as adults...in a good way. Then speak your affirmation or instruction out of that.

Whether you are holding a newborn or going toe to toe with a teen, or somewhere in between, slow yourself down at least once a week, if not more often to just look in your child's eyes to see their past, the growth, and the possibilities for the future.

It is comforting and peaceful when they are strapped to us or asleep in safety, but the substance of parenting happens eye to eye. Make the most of it. While your mouth is moving, let tour heart be touched by what your eyes see. It will change the course of your famil's boat.
Love,
Deborah

Self Care and/or Self Nurture

There's always a little guilt in writing this blog. Since the kids are all grown, some of them with kids of their own, my time and relationship to time is very different than when there were four demanding kids and a hungry husband at home.

What has astounded me is how minimal my self care and self nurture have been. With thelast child   officially on her own with a completely developed pre frontal cortex, I am struggling to put in place the good habits I streamlined or stripped to the bare minimum while I was raising the kids and leading a family.

Silly things like taking off my make up faithfully and moisturizing and exercising as well as the bigger task of feeding my brain and ministering to my soul present themselves in such a way I find myself falling into old self talk that says I don't have time.

Here's my point. Be careful how much you beat up on yourself. You are, indeed, much busier than you think you are! Applaud yourself for the little you are able to do and pat yourself on the back if you even have the remotest sense of self. The day will come when you will have more time. Truly. I promise. For now, indulge yourself as much self care and self nurture as you can. Be at peace. Raising children is a sacrificial activity. You're doing great!
Love,
Deborah