This morning I had the chance to watch a father loping along for a morning walk, bundle of tussled hair strapped to his back, face buried into Daddy's shoulder, obviously asleep by the way his body's limply bouncing limbs mimicked Dad's gait and stride.
I remember the peace of feeling my children on my back as I walked to wherever when they were young. All my authority as a parent grew stronger within me knowing they were up and out of harm's way and we were moving forward.
It is, however, the face to face moments that prove challenging as parents. Looking into their eyes and or having them look into mine created opportunities for growth and joy,or power struggles and melt downs. Interactions are the rudders of relationship boats.
Here's what I suggest . When you look into your child's eyes, remember from whence they have come. Call to mind their ability to be in a different place, to learn, to grow. See their gifts and talents. See their hopes and desires. See their trust and love. Imagine who they will be as adults...in a good way. Then speak your affirmation or instruction out of that.
Whether you are holding a newborn or going toe to toe with a teen, or somewhere in between, slow yourself down at least once a week, if not more often to just look in your child's eyes to see their past, the growth, and the possibilities for the future.
It is comforting and peaceful when they are strapped to us or asleep in safety, but the substance of parenting happens eye to eye. Make the most of it. While your mouth is moving, let tour heart be touched by what your eyes see. It will change the course of your famil's boat.
Love,
Deborah
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